Apparently There are Such Things as Demon Sheep

Carly Fiorina is a RINO running for Senate in CA.

Last night she released this ad which does actually include *demon sheep* which you most certainly MUST watch.

No, this is not a joke. Yes, it is a real live ad. Yes, those really are red eyes.  Yes,  it has to be the worst idea in the history of campaign ads. And no, Fiorina doesn’t regret it. Is she trying to lose? The only positive,  is that the ad has gotten quite a bit of press, even if though most of it has been b-a-a-a-a-d. (Forgive me!)

We have had a lot of fun with it on Twitter though. From CNN:

Twitter has also been buzzing with chatter about the new Fiorina video since its release Wednesday. The Twitter hashtag “#demonsheep” is currently a trending topic for Washington, D.C.-based tweets, according to the site. And a Twitter account called @demonsheep has been set up and currently has roughly 800 followers.

-Johanna

PS: h/t Leon Wolf

PPS: Here’s some more fun with Carly’s ad:

Jim Treacher is Welcomed to Washington, the Hard Way

One of my very favorite bloggers, well besides this guy, was involved in a hit and run last night. Jim Treacher of the DC Trawler, was crossing the street when a government vehicle slammed into him and then DROVE OFF! Sheesh, Treacher has only been in Washington a month and already *they* are trying to kill him. I can’t believe he could piss Washington off so fast. Crybabies. Anyway, you can read all about it in Jim Treacher’s own words here. And here’s to wishing Mr. Treacher a speedy recovery and revenge.

-Johanna

PS. Here’s the latest update.

Groundhog Day?

Is anyone else wondering how on earth we began the tradition of pulling a groundhog out of his hole and predicting future on whether the thing sees its shadow or not?

According to the official Web site of Phil the hedgehog:

The groundhog tradition stems from similar beliefs associated with Candlemas Day and the days of early Christians in Europe, and for centuries the custom was to have the clergy bless candles and distribute them to the people. Even then, it marked a milestone in the winter and the weather that day was important.

According to an old English song:

If Candlemas be fair and bright,
Come, Winter, have another flight;
If Candlemas brings clouds and rain,
Go Winter, and come not again.

Weather, sort of explained, but what about pulling vermin out of the ground? National Geographic answers that one:

Legend has it that the Romans also believed that conditions during the first days of February were good predictors of future weather, but the empire looked to hedgehogs for their forecasts.

These two traditions melded in Germany, and was brought over to the United States by German immigrants who settled in Pennsylvania. Lacking hedgehogs, the German settlers substituted native groundhogs in the ritual, and Groundhog Day was born.

So there you have it folks, Goundhog Day, the weirdest holiday celebrated in America.

My “Antidote to this Pernicious Indoctrination into Neurosis”

 Thanks to Dan for the inspiration. 

I googled *dating advice for men* specifically, and it returned 18 million different sites dealing with this issue alone. Good grief, how did things get so fracking complicated? All these rules: be yourself, but not if your *different.* Ask her out, but use this script we provide. Keep it simple just complicates things even more. Make her feel pretty, but don’t stare at her breasts, or legs, or anywhere but her eyes, and on and on, ad infinitum. I don’t know about you, but even as a female, I see all these rules for men to follow, and it’s enough to give me indigestion. How does anyone manage to get together these days with all this madness?

I understand this is the culture we have created, and it poisons both sexes. Even though it’s been a while since I’ve been out there, I remember all too well some of the horrors of dating. So the only anitidote I can think of to give a man is this, ignore all that shit and go it alone. I am convinced you can figure it out by yourself, no matter how “socially challenged” you are.  Do you really need AskMen.com to spell it all out for you?  Now I’m  sure there will be mistakes along the way, and probably rejection. God knows, no one is perfect. But if there is a lady out there for you, it will happen, and get this, without the 18 million pages of rules, advice, and tips. Amazing right?

 Oh yeah, and just one more thing, if I wear a low-cut form-fitting dress it’s BECAUSE I want you to check out my cleavage, dammit.  So there’s that.

-Johanna

Cross-posted at POWIP

Oscar Nominee Predictions for 2010

by Andrea Burke

Let’s see how well I can do with this. Someone keep score.

This year, The Academy is nominating 10 films which I think is a heinous idea, but whatever. The decision has been made. And the nominees will be announced tomorrow. So here goes my best guess for the 10 movies that will be nominated. I’ve also included if directors/actors/etc will be nominated from said movie.

1. The Hurt Locker. Kathryn Bigelow, best director. Jeremy Renner and Anthony Mackie deserve acting nominations, best actor and best supporting actor respetively.

2. Up in the Air. Note: This movie got big early buzz, and I think its too bad some of it has died out. It deserves it. Jason Reitman, best director, best original screeplay. George Clooney, Best Actor, Vera Famiga and Anna Kenrick, both will be up for Best Supporting Actress

3. Avatar. James Cameron, best director. I’m guess it will win all the nerdy special effects/tech awards too, whatever they are called.

4. Up. Its animated, but it’s great. Best Original Screenplay, Best Animated Film. And if Randy Newman wrote another song (I can’t remember), it’ll get nominated.

5. Inglourious Basterds. Tarantino, for directing and best original screenplay. Christoph Waltz will not only be nominated, but take home the Oscar for best supporting actor. I’m calling it. OH AND he’ll give a terrible acceptance speech.You can bet your life on it.

6. Crazy Heart. Jeff Bridges, best actor.

7. Precious. another win prediction goes to Monique for best supporting actress. Gaby Sidibe, best actress.

8. (500) Days of Summer. This is not a shoe-in. It’s my out-on-a-limb one, but c’mon, they should nominate this excellent movie!

For the last two, it’s a toss up, I would say Invictus and Julie and Julia have a good chance of getting in there, as does An Eduation. And as a fan, I think Fantastic Mr. Fox should be a nominee.

I’ll call it all again before the acual awards, but let me say now, if Avatar wins it’s a crying shame.

PETA’s Got Their Panties All in a Wad…Again

Yes folks, this time it’s over the long-standing tradition in Punxsutawney, PA. You know the one, where the little groundhog pokes his head out of the ground to determine how much winter we have left.  apparently, they believe it is cruel to poor Punxsutawney Phil because groundhogs

become stressed when they are exposed to large, screaming crowds; flashing lights from perhaps hundreds of cameras; and human handling.

And no they are not kidding.  Good grief, if the little guy gets so stressed out, just give him some Xanax, and let him do his thing. I mean that usually works for people right? Instead PETA believes the live groundhogs should be replaced with, get this, animatronic ones. Seriously? I mean how is a robot groundhog going to get scared of his shadow? I can’t handle another 6 weeks of winter, EVERY SINGLE YEAR! Great, now I’m stressed out. I need the Xanax.

 -Johanna

PS: Cross-posted at POWIP

SOTU+Drinking Games=FUN!

Apparently all the cool kids are doing it. Hey it doesn’t take much to convince me.  I’m totally down. I would just graciously add a few more suggestions.

• Do a shot of tequila every time Obama looks from the right teleprompter to the left teleprompter, and back.
• When Nancy Pelosi blinks, take a shot of Botox ( I understand Botox is not alcohol, but still addicting none the less, so it should count).
• Every time Obama uses the pronouns I or me, just sip your brew (he will do this a lot, so I can go easy on you for this one. I mean we don’t want you totally wasted in just the first 10 minutes).

I think if we indulge in these drinking games, Obama may get the hopeful response from all of us that he wants. Because I don’t know about you, but alcohol puts me a GREAT mood. ”I love everyone, and America is awesome! Yeah!”  At least momentarily. Tomorrow morning, well that will be an entirely different story.

-Johanna

PS. Here’s a whole bunch more. HuffPo with a sense of humor. Never thought I’d see the day.

Lest He Forget

Obama’s love of Teleprompter  extends even into the elementary schools, lest he forget (his words of course). God forbid he make a tragic mistake in front of the children, you know, like misspelling p-0-t-a-t-o-e, err p-o-t-a-t-o. The media would never let him live it down.

-Johanna

PS: Another great post by Lori Z here.

Sarah Palin’s Version of Vintage-1800’s Style?

Sarah! You know I love you, but I just have to ask, what were you thinking? I mean, if you want people to take you seriously, looking like someone from Little House on the Prairie isn’t the way to do it.  As a self-proclaimed somewhat stylish fashionista myself (just ask my friends) I hate to admit that I now question your judgement  based solely on THAT choice of do. And PS, what did you do to your stylist to make her/him hate you so much?  Take my advice, and please get a new one, after all image is everything. God forbid you give the looney left another reason to criticize.

h/t @infobee’s twitter feed

-Johanna

Olby: A Vile, Hypocritical, Affected, Prevaricating, Self-Absorbed, Drama Queen

 

Yep, I think that pretty much sums it up.

Two things: Number 1) last week Olby made these comments on the seemingly pro-corporate Supreme Court ruling.

Hey Olby, last I checked the little news organization for which you pontificate was owned by one of your so-called EVIL corporations, General Electric. Conflict of interest much? Hmmmmm.

Number 2) I’ll just let John Stewart explain. 

more about “The Daily Show: Special Comment – Kei…“, posted with vodpod

 

Finally, I couldn’t do a post on Olbermann without including one of my favorite SNL vids of all time. 

more about “Hulu – Saturday Night Live: Countdown…“, posted with vodpod

 

-Johanna

PS: I know this post is a little behind, but hey, I’ve had a crazy busy weekend. I hate when real life gets in the way of blogging.