Politically Correct Toys for the New Obamillenium


Moms: are you tired of your little girls constantly wanting the newest and latest Barbie doll? Worried that your little princess will develop those fears of obtaining bodily perfection? If you don’t have the blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect figure, your just not good enough? And who really cares about brains? Certainly not Barbie…right?

Well, have I got the answer for you. In the New Obamillenium, there’s a modern doll on the block, one that will inspire your precious little angel to forget about looks. One that says, you can be whatever you want to be… or something like that. One that inspires diversity! It’s the new Michelle Obama Doll!

Your little darlings wont be “looking over their shoulders” any more with irrational fears they aren’t good enough, with this new and inspiring toy. Buy this for them and they will become the confident little progressive feminists you  have always hoped for!

Now what about your sons you say? Well, we understand that GI Joe the American Hero has been a very popular toy for a  long time. But what about the violent messages of war and American exceptualism they send to your sons?  Surely as progressives in the New Obamilleniun you know that the days of American pride are over. Just look at how much the world hates us. We didn’t get the Olympics and god knows we can’t win any wars. GI Joe is so passe! So here is the latest and greatest toy to truly inspire your sons with real hope and real change. The new Obama Super Hero!

With this new superhero to look up to, your sons will understand that in the New Obamillenium, we don’t need to solve our problems with guns, violence, and war. We use the toughest weapons of all, our words (with a little help from sanctions).  This doll will teach your sons that America is different, fresh, hip and that the best way to solve a crises is to just not say anything at all! Just ask Iran and Honduras!!!

Finally, there’s a new book in town that every parent and child of the New Obamillenium must have! And you can pick these up at your local Books-A-Million! This book totally captures the full glory that is Barack and Michelle Obama and their fascinating  journey to the White House. Not only is this book inspirational and informative, it will keep your little progressive love muffins entertained for hours!

001That’s right! The Barack and Michelle Paper Doll and Cut-Out book! This book “highlights Barack’s uniquely professional, yet down-to-earth wardrobe that reflects his popular persona and Michelle’s outstanding taste in fashion, this book is a must for anyone wanting that special ‘yes we can’ kind of day, every day!” Or so says the author! Don’t you want your child to have that “yes we can” day and attitude? Than throw out those evil Barbies, GI Joes, and books, and get your children cool cutting-edge toys of the New Obamillenium!


PS: For any families that are unwilling to purchase the New Obamillenium toys, you will be taxed an extra 10% to ensure that families who are less fortunate than you will be given the funds to purchase these toys for their children who would truly love and appreciate them.


One Response to Politically Correct Toys for the New Obamillenium

  1. kev says:

    I’m single and without kids, but if that weren’t the case I would make the following vow:

    I would rather buy my child a plastic bag filled with broken glass than buy any of those Obama toys.

    Lord help us all.

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