I’m Taking a Break

April 26, 2010

You see, the thing is, over the past several months I have been going through a sort of pre-mid-life crisis. I’ve come to a place in my life where all the sudden I don’t really know who I am or what I’m supposed to do. It’s kinda scary at age 30 and not something I’m used to. I’ve always been a very decisive person, sure of every decision I’ve ever made in regard to my life.

If I’m quite honest with myself, I have taken my focus off God and put it on myself and ironically, in the process, lost who I am.  So I’m taking the time to put my focus back where it should be. That’s the only way I know to truly live. 

Thanks so much to Dan Collins who has so graciously let me post at his site over the past several months. And thanks to everyone who has read my site and commented. It means so much.  If you’re interested in reading about my spiritual journey (or whatever you would call it) you can find me here.

God Bless,


Happy Erf Day

April 22, 2010


An Earth Day Haiku


I scream for the trees

With my old birkentocks on

No shower in months



– Johanna



You’re So Vain…

April 15, 2010

You probably think this post is about you. Don’t you?

Apparently The Great O likes to describe himself as being a man of humility

 To that I say: Bwhahahahahahahahahahahah! Hahahhahahahhahahaha! Hahahahahahahahaha. Haha. Ha.

Oh, that’s a good one.


PS: Here’s Jim Treacher’s take. He’s funny. (Treacher, not Obama)

I’m Actually Doing a Post on Britney Spears

April 13, 2010

And I like it. Seriously.

It turns out that the former “pop princess” is revealing all, but not in the way you might be thinking. (Get your mind out of the gutter!) What Britney is revealing are her imperfections.  She is releasing un-airbrushed pictures of herself in an ad campaign for Candies.  And she’s not stopping there. She’s also releasing the airbrushed pics as well, so we can all clearly see the differences. Goody!

Brave move: Britney Spears has allowed airbrushed images from her shoot to be released along with the original raw photos which show all her imperfections

Brave move: Britney Spears has allowed airbrushed images from her shoot to be released along with the original raw photos which show all her imperfections

And some more.

Britney Spears in her Candies advert

Shaping up: The pop star's whole body has been trimmed down with the use of a computer, even down to removing a tattoo on her back

You go girl! I mean all your other imperfections have been laid bare before the entire world, so why not this?


The Topless Woman March

April 6, 2010

At least I think they are women. It’s kinda hard to tell based on these pictures.


Anyways apparently all these woman are mad that they can’t walk around topless like men can.  How come there’s never any really hot women concerned with this law? Maybe there are, just not in Portland. Hmmmm. I hope they weren’t too cold.


PS: I love this:

Ty McDowell, who organized the march, said she was “enraged” by the turnout of men attracted to the demonstration. The purpose, she said, was for society to have the same reaction to a woman walking around topless as it does to men without shirts on.

*ENRAGED!!!* Are you kidding me Ty? I don’t know what planet you are from, but on earth,  men love breasts.  And at some point, you are just going to have to get over it.

Roll Call of Democrat Dimwits

April 5, 2010

It seems a lot has happened simce I’ve been out of the country.

Dimwit 1: Congressman Steve Cohen. This idiot hits way too close to home for me being from Memphis. He has the audacity to compare the Tea Party movement to KKK members. Andrew Brietbart is still offering $100,000 for proof of racism. Where’s the proof, Congressman?  

Dimwit 2:  Congressman Hank Johnson apparently believes that adding American Marines to the island of Guam will cause it to tip over. For realz. I wonder if he’s best friends with Cohen. I wouldn’t be surprised. I can only imagine the conversation they would have.  Chuck Dizzle at knifework.net has some great jokes about it, so he’s probably racist. *sigh*

And for the final Dimwit: The one and only commander-in-chief, leader of the free world, most powerful man in the universe, Barack Hussein Obama. The 17 minute, 2500 word response as to why we need to pay more taxes for Obamacare just tops it all off. Where’s the teleprompter when you need it? Was it on vacation that day?

Slater sums it all up nicely and even adds Phil Hare to the list. Boy those democrats, they are on a roll. Keep it boys. November is right around the corner.


Esperanza Part III

April 2, 2010

I sat next to a man on the plane ride from Atlanta to Managua. He was an Italian school teacher from New York, and what he said will stay with me forever.  He told me he was going to Nicaragua because his friends who had been there told him what a beautiful country it was. He wanted to hike the volcanoes around Leon, and plus, the prostitution is really good there. Yeah, that’s right, good prostitution.

I wonder if the guy knew or even cared that prostitution in Nicaragua is legal at age 14. I wonder if he knew that the government is pulling beautiful teenage girls out of child protection centers and putting them on the streets often times forcing them into prostitution just so they can survive.

We went to visit a child protection center called the Sacred Heart of Mary. It is run by a nun named Sister Paula. I met Mother Theresa that day. This incredible woman has dedicated her life to the girls and single mothers of this beautiful yet ravaged country. The government is taking her children away from her. And there’s nothing she can do. She told us how she saw two of her young girls on the streets of Leon in horrible situations with two people she did not know.

 My heart is truly broken for these children and girls here, and as I’ve talked to the people here I’ve come to realize just how tragic the situation is. There is such a lack of respect for women and children in this country. According to the State Department website 80% of reported rapes are of young girls under the age of 17. Yet prostitution is legal if you are 14. Violence against women has increased in this country dramatically as well.  

El Ayudante fights so hard for the women and girls of Nicaragua. The people here refuse to let the government win. Of the children who the ministry of family is forcing out of the center and into their homes, El Ayudante is building them homes. They are helping those families establish businesses. They are providing them with food. El Ayudante refuses to let one of their girls end up on the streets as a prositute. The work they are doing for this country amazes me, and I am leaving this week encouraged knowing there are at least some people in Nicaragua who care and are making a difference. I know the work they do here may seem small and perhaps  insignificant, but those small things add up. And I’ve been lucky enough to witnessed that first hand. El Ayudante and other protection centers like Sacred Heart give the children of this country hope, and that gives me hope too.



PS: My friend Kara Salyers took these photos.

Esperanza Part II

April 1, 2010




 A child falls in the heat of the day
Dusty, Dirty
It is scorching in the barrio, the broken beaten barrio.
He begins to cry
Not only is he hungry, tattered, frail
But now he is hurt, a scratch on his arm
I see a need, bring him water
Clean, Cool
It washes dirt from his wound
I dry his eyes, his little scratch too
-Let me kiss it, make the pain go away-
A sheepish smile, a grimy grin slowly spreads
And off he shoots
Playing, Healed
At least for now in the barrio, the broked beaten barrio.
But watching silently by, big brother notices the deed
The small, the insignificant deed
And he is touched
He too is dusty, dirty
He too is hungry, tattered, frail
But he has hope in his eyes
Questioning, Searching
-How can you love us, why do you care?-
-You are special- I reply
He is thankful and he clings to me
And for a moment
Hopeful, a glimpse of Zion
I don’t want to let him go
There in the barrio, the broken beaten barrio.
I sit on the bus
Pondering, Reflecting
Determining in my heart that he will stay
An alter made
I will remember him,  his tender soul
His hope-filled eyes
And I pray
-God please watch over him tonight
Keep him safe in the barrio, the broken beaten barrio.-



March 27, 2010

A little girl at Sacred Heart of Mary with her crown.

I am leaving for Leon, Nicaragua, Saturday. I went to Nicaragua for the first time a year ago and hope to make the journey every year as long as I am able. I go with a group to a  child protection center called El Ayudante or The Helper. The only thing is, now Nicaragua’s dictator, Daniel Ortega is systematically shutting down all the child protection centers across the country and throwing the children back into the harsh streets of the barrios. Just in Leon alone, out of the 6 centers, there are only 2 left. El Ayudante being one  of them. You see, Ortega believes that it makes his country look bad to have so many orphans, so rather than have documented orphans in these child protection centers, he’d rather have undocumented orphans roaming the streets.

At El Ayudante out of the 31 children who lived there, only 5 are left.

It’s just so devastating knowing that Nicaraguan children all across the country are being forced out of protection centers and back to their families. Families who have sold their children into prostitution, have physically or sexually abused them and are drug abusers or alcoholics, or worse.

One school/orphanage I visited last year, The Sacred Heart of Mary, housed about 130 girls, all  of whom came out of unspeakable horrors to live under the care of a nun. These girls were taught, fed, housed, and loved.  On our visit to Sacred heart we brought them popsicles and sandwiches. We played games, painted fingernails, and made them each a crown to make them feel like princesses. I have never seen so much life and grace. And gratitude. One girl, who I discovered shared my name, Hanna, never left my side. She held my hand the entire time, and before we left hugged me tightly. Needless to say, it was hard to leave. They sang us songs thanking us for what we did for them. Now, thanks to Ortega, there are only 35 girls left. The other 100 are gone.  Who knows where? I try not to think about it.

Hanna and me at The Sacred Heart of Mary. She just ate a blue popsicle.

But all hope is not lost. El Ayudante is finding ways to serve these children despite the corrupt government. They are building homes for their children close to center so that they can still come for school and eat two solid meals a day. They are working with the local government to reach out to other children in the barrios and to  rebuild schools and medical centers. They are running electricity to different communities throughout Leon and providing drinking water and food. Despite unbelievable odds and a Nicaraguan government bent on repressing their people, and destroying their children, at least in the city of Leon, El Ayudante is making a difference.

And I am lucky enough to be a very small part of that. Once a year. For one week. For that I am eternally humbled and grateful.

A little boy on the street trying to sell us postcards.

A little boy at La Majada, one of the best schools around Leon.

Children at La Majada lining up to watch us tell a story.

These children were so proud of their art work and that they could use REAL crayons.

America the Jabberwock (At least that’s how the Government sees us)

March 22, 2010

Twas greastly and the slimzy change

Did Obama make along the way.

America will never be the same

The Constitution, headed for decay.

Beware the Tea Partiers, dear Nan

The racist brutes, the blastful swarms

Beware the American people and shun

Their sckreeking halts to our ‘reforms'”


Nan took her ghallid gavel in hand

Long time the irksome people she fought

So confident she by her briberies

 She knew whom she had bought.

And as in nobelite thought she stood

The Tea Partiers with eyes of flame

Came droveling through the DC hood.

“Don’t tread on me!” They sang.


One, two! and through and through

That ghallid gavel went snicker-snack

Nan left us dead and with our heads

She went harumphing back.

“And hast thou slain democracy?

Come to arms my botoxicated Nan!

Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”

Obama snortled at his plan.


Twas greastly and the slimzy change

Did Obama make along the way

America will never be the same

The Constitution, headed for decay.


 PS: All apologies to Lewis Carroll.